THIS IS WHAT SCARES ME

THIS IS WHAT SCARES ME.

It took me a while to figure this out , and not gonna lie even longer to pen it down. Here i m not going to talk about the list of human fears. The darkness ,the heights , the change or even the death. Nope, none of that.

Because coming to think about it… we aren’t actually scared of what we say we are. For instance ,  we are not  scared of dark , but the fact of not knowing whats in the dark. We are not scared of the heights, but of falling off the heights. Not the strangers but the known. Not the death but a poor life. Not of people leaving but of you getting addicted to them.
Isn’t it?Then what am I scared of, u demand?

This is what actually scares me ….

Ideas.
Nah, not the new ones mostly the old ones. And honestly I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones . Not able to find the new ones and  swimming in the same slough scares me . Knowing the process and the outcome and still being stuck in that bog , thriving for a way out but failing all the time terrifies me.

Control.
Sometimes things that are out of our hands aren’t scary, the ones in our hands are scary. Because sometimes, the thought of having the entire control over the boat  , having all  power in the world  and not knowing what to do with it  or using it inadequately is petrifying. Imagine having your entire life in your hands and you? Well you  have no idea of what to do with it. No clue of how to handle the obstacles or even when there are literally no obstacles in your way ,  you are still just sitting there,  utterly clueless in which direction to sail the boat.

Fear.
That’s right. I fear the fear. Does this makes sense? I doubt. But I sure am afraid of it.

It’s like a cage formed around my head , my small concerns being the high steel bars here , that morphed into doubts so deadening that i am afraid to leap into new opportunities. An excuse that i will keep using for why i can’t move on. It’s the prison that has no scope of expanding my ideas or thoughts. Because confining things is its only job. 

And what else i m scared of you ask? Well, let me start again.

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